Should we really avoid toxic people?

Should we really avoid toxic people?

The shy people unfortunately know a lot of toxic people. There are those who depress you with their problems, there are those who criticize you openly, there are those who take advantage of your kindness, there are those who want to dominate and manipulate you or those who disrespect you, in short, those are those which directly or indirectly affect your balance.

You know these toxic people, and as shy, you do everything to avoid them in order to preserve your balance ... somewhat fragile. Unfortunately, they are everywhere, sometimes even closer to you than you imagine.

Shy people find it difficult to express their anger, their emotions, their feelings, and the repression of all these negative thoughts end up gnawing them from the inside.

Ultimately, this can even cause physical pain (headache, back pain, etc.), or even cancer.

Assert yourself and set limits with toxic people

Here is what I learned from my experience.

Everyone is potentially toxic to a shy person. Indeed, since she does not know how to assert herself in a social relationship, others can take liberties at any time. The problem is that the shy person cannot set limits. It is therefore necessary now to learn to assert oneself and to set limits.

Here are two examples:

A person gives you a little joke. You do not react or very little. Be sure, he will do it again with more intensity next time. As long as you do not assert yourself by answering it with distributed for example, this will continue.

Someone tries to dominate you by speaking too authoritatively and giving you overly directive commands. Until you assert yourself by calling for more respectful communication, it will continue to get worse.

I could give you hundreds of examples. One thing is certain: personally, since I assert myself and set firm limits, people no longer seem toxic to me.

For example, a loved one has long been toxic to me. Perpetual criticism for years ... One day in adulthood, when he launched yet another "attack", I replied firmly. I will not go into detail, but the message was clear: STOP!

Guess what happens next? I never got a single comment again and our relationship is much better today. The limits were set, he could no longer exceed them.

You must assert yourself as soon as possible, dare to say STOP and make things clear quickly with all the toxic people around you.

Sometimes you still have to protect yourself

There are, however, exceptions. Sometimes these people are so toxic that their negative aura has repercussions on your own person. Even being assertive can not change the situation.

Here is an example with a friend. Whenever we saw each other, he took the opportunity to talk about his problems. At first, I was listening. It’s also useful for that, friends. Once, twice, hundreds of times even, until I realized that every time I saw this person, I felt really bad.

He was sort of a vampire who sucked up all my hard-earned energy within hours. In such situations, you must take a step back to protect your well-being. I have not stopped frequenting it, but I do it more rarely, and my investment is less. I am sure you have already experienced a similar story.

How to manage toxic people?

Shy people don't have to avoid and flee from toxic people. Above all, they must learn to assert themselves by setting limits. The more you train, the more you will be able to manage toxic people by asserting yourself with finesse, thanks to a well-balanced balance and humor. Whatever happens, never repress your negative emotions, on the contrary, express and externalize them.

Of course, I advise you to surround yourself as much as possible with positive, enthusiastic, generous and respectful people with whom you feel good and with whom you can share regenerative emotions. These peaceful relationships are essential to happiness and will boost you against shyness.