How to have more will? 3 secrets for a successful life
The will is absolutely essential, and you will discover why.
Often, people say to me "I have no will" because they cracked on a biscuit or a bar of chocolate for example.
Developing your will is possible, and it is even strongly recommended.
In this article, you will discover 3 secrets to develop your will.
The will is a prehistoric instinct. And yes. It is not an ability some of which are talented and some not. Everyone has it, and for good reason, it is necessary for our survival.
Indeed, in the Paleolithic, it was necessary to refrain from not eating all the harvest of fruits or not to finish the game which one had killed. It was not necessary to sleep with the wife of the chief of the tribe.
To engage in such acts meant the banishment of the tribe, which was synonymous with death. Therefore, the will is a device put in place that allowed to be contained in this type of situations.
Nowadays, our will is still necessary and useful. It is important in a social situation, to avoid telling its 4 truths to anyone you meet. It is precisely the will that allows us to live in a group and to have friends. If we said everything that went through our heads, without filters, without holding back, we would not have many friends.
In psychology, the example of Phineas Gage, a miner who had taken a piece of rail in his head and caused him severe irreparable damage to the prefrontal cortex, is used extensively.
His personality had changed and he was more angry, the social side had become very complicated without the part of the brain responsible for the will, the famous prefrontal cortex.
So why develop our will?
This is essential to live a "good life". All studies agree that people who have more will do better in their trades, they are happier, live longer and healthier.
It is also easy to understand: when you have good will, it is much easier to maintain a healthy diet, regular sports sessions, daily meditation sessions ...
It is also easier to maintain social relations, to contain oneself in the face of the temptations of the modern world (industrial food and fast food, pornography, social networks, television ...).
Thus, all this contributes to a better life in strictly all areas. It is therefore rather interesting to develop one's will, as you can imagine. And that's what you'll discover very soon in this article.
Before you share 3 strategies to develop your will, I would like to introduce 2 essential concepts to know about the will.
The will is a battery: and as a battery is exhausted with use.
The will is maximum in the morning on waking and exhausts during the day to be minimal the evening before going to bed.
Throughout the day, the more decisions are made, the more it runs out, like the battery of a smartphone using applications. It is also commonly called the concept of reserve of will.
All the choices you make, however trivial, will use your will.
Black or white shirt, banana or apple, tea or coffee, car or metro, say such or such phrase to your colleague, read such article or article, take a walk or watch TV ...
All the choices you make diminish your will, and inevitably, the more choices you make, the less desire you have.
So we come to a major concept that you need to remember: to have the will for things that matter, you have to reduce the number of unnecessary choices.
That's why Steve Jobs, Mark Zuckerberg or Barack Obama always dress the same way.
By always having the same clothes, we do not waste will on small decisions, it allows to focus on the most important things.
"I have so many big decisions to make that I have no time to lose with the small decisions" Barack Obama.
Thus, if you save your will, you will have much more for the important things: the food, the sport, the daily discipline in your business, in your well-being, in your relations.
In one study, we did an experiment in which there was a group that had to memorize a number of 7 digits and a group that had to memorize a number of 2 digits. At the exit, in the corridor there was the possibility of eating a chocolate cake or a fruit salad.
People in the first group were 50% more likely to eat the chocolate cake.
What does this experience mean? That when we use our will, we have less later, to choose good foods for us for example.
That's why it's so important that you do not lose your will with useless choices. Plan your clothes the day before, sort through your closets, in your house or apartment to have fewer choices to make.
If you have too many choices, you will not be able to focus on things that are important to you.
The will is a muscle: the will is like your biceps. It develops.
How do we do that ? Very simple ! Just the challenger. Easier said than done, I grant you.
To do this, you need to do different things than you usually do. Do uncomfortable things.
For example, start taking cold showers. Always take a different route to work. Eat with your non-dominant hand. Pay attention to your posture during the day
To motivate you, know that in 2 weeks we already see differences. The will improves quickly.
In one study, three groups were compared:
In the first group, they were asked to use their non-dominant hand for as many things as possible.
In the second group, they were asked to say "Yes" instead of "Yeah" (yeah).
In the third group, they were asked to do as usual.
After two weeks, the first two groups were less jealous and more respectful with their partner, less physically and verbally abusive.
What does this experience mean?
As you can see, the will gets muscle fast enough because the results are already visible after two weeks.
In addition, the will is a transversal skill, that is to say that no matter with what you muscle, it will be valid in all areas of your life.
For example, if you muscle it by deciding to eat and brush your teeth with your non-dominant hand, you will tend to eat healthier, exercise more, and be more socially pleasing.
Keep in mind that the will is a battery, do not use it unnecessarily with futile decisions. On the other hand, muscle it by doing different things, and that's what we'll see now with my 3 secrets to develop it.
There are many ways to strengthen your will, I will present three that seem very effective.
Meditate: it's proven and re-proven, meditation improves all areas of your life. In addition to all the known benefits on health, concentration and personal fulfillment, meditation is the royal way of bodybuilding will.
If there was one exercise to train your will, it would be this one.And no need to meditate for hours, go to a Buddhist temple, or sit in the lotus position. Meditation is accessible to all, it is a secular practice that the brain needs.
In one study, 5 minutes of meditation allowed drug users weaning to increase their quality sleep time by one hour and decrease their risk of relapse.
To meditate, it's very simple: you just have to sit down and just do nothing. Do not seek anything to achieve, there is no particular state, nirvana to reach. There is no success, no failure. One can not fail one's meditation, which is good news. There is nothing to do, no effort.
As Fabrice Midal, a philosopher who has been teaching meditation for years that I appreciate, meditates, it is "fooling oneself with peace". No more no less. Afterwards, if it reassures you, you can simply observe your breathing, without controlling anything.
The idea of meditation is to do nothing. We must not try to be calm, to be zen or to empty. Do not just look for something to do. Since there is nothing to do!
Just start with 5 minutes a day. This is largely enough to have beneficial effects.
If you want to do more, it's sure that 30 minutes a day will have even more benefits. But it's better to do 5 minutes a day than 30 minutes once a week.
Start small, and increase the duration as you practice, when the habit is well anchored.
Get out of your comfort zone: we talked about it above.
As soon as you get out of your comfort zone by doing unusual and uncomfortable things, you muscle your will. Meditation is an example. You can decide to do anything to strengthen your will. Here are some ideas to help you choose one.
Decide to take a cold shower everyday.
Delete a vulgar word from your vocabulary that you use very frequently.
Use a new word as often as possible.
Eat, brush your teeth and open the doors with your non-dominant hand.
Say "yes" instead of "yeah."
Create a morning routine that you will do every morning when you wake up.
Pay attention to your posture as often as possible.
Make a challenge 30 days without social networks, or without internet, or without a phone.
With all these ideas, you already have something to do to strengthen your will!
Choose one and you to play.
When you have a temptation, wait ten minutes.
If you have a temptation, challenge yourself and say "I wait ten minutes before succumbing to it. "
This simple exercise will greatly strengthen your willpower.
Use this simple trick for all the types of temptations you experience every day: the temptation to go to Facebook, watch your emails, eat a cookie, sit on the couch, watch TV, go on Internet…
Whatever your temptations (you necessarily have), wait ten minutes before giving in. Often, you will not even want 10 minutes later.
It will not only strengthen your will, but it will drastically improve your life.
Indeed, you will not read more, work, eat better, do more sports, so automatically everything will be better for you!
We are coming to the end of this article, I hope you have gained something useful and applicable in your own life.
Now I ask you one thing, tell me in the comments: what will you apply today to develop your will?
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