Succeed in 10 lessons
When I asked Franck (42 years old, single) what the "art de vivre" meant for him, he replied that he did not believe in happiness. Since he was a teenager since he was a teenager, he would be content with no longer dragging the anguish and permanent dissatisfaction that ruin his life.
When I asked Sarah, 23 years old, what she thought about happiness, she said her dream was to find a job where she could flourish, earn a good salary and go live abroad : it's his "American dream".
Karim, 29, had a ramshackle youth. He experienced school failure, odd jobs, delinquency. After this start of turbulent life, he would like to change his life today. Recently, he fell in love. He would now like to settle down, find a real job, start a family, get respect for others and respect for himself. Become "good person"
Gilles, 52, a sales executive, told me that he did not know what the art of living meant. He thinks that for him the games are made: he has a family to feed, he is overwhelmed by his work; he is now waiting for retirement.
Everyone, in their own way, gave a vision of the art of living. For one is the quest for happiness, with a capital B (as we dream of a "great love"); another would content himself with suppressing his suffering. For another, living means "doing something", whether it's social or family success, carrying out a big project or devoting himself to his passion. In any case, one must enchant one's existence. It can finally lead a "good life", that is to say a respectable life.
So here are three horizons of life: to be happy, to realize oneself and to lead a dignified life. One can conceive of others: to mobilize for an ideal, to sacrifice oneself for others or to mix a little all this in an ill-assured existential cocktail. This is a bit of everyone's case.
Happiness does not exist, it is only a signpost. And he indicates several directions.
2. Wisdom has a long history (but it's still the same)
The art of living is defined by its goals (multiple) but also by its means. It carries this additional idea: to live, that can be learned. As there is an art of combat, a culinary art, an art of hunting, an art of the garden ..., there would exist also a lifestyle. One can learn to live: which would involve teaching, learning, training, experience, discipline and life lessons.
In Greece, the philosopher defined himself as a "friend of wisdom" (hence the etymology of the word: philo = friend and sophia = wisdom). What does it mean exactly? The history of ancient philosophy has long taught many thinkers (Pythagoras, Socrates, Plato, Aristotle), who were presented as theoreticians, whose ultimate goal was to reach the search for truth (by means of of reason). The ancient philosophers were therefore "teachers of truth". Pierre Hadot (1922-2010) changed this way of thinking. This historian of ideas has endeavored to show that ancient philosophy was defined above all as a particular art of living. Certainly the philosopher was aiming at the knowledge of nature and the human soul. But he was also and above all someone who was working to lead a "good life" (1).
This good life involved not only study, but first included a certain "ethic" which presupposed a discipline, a mastery of his thoughts and passions: a "self-government" will say Michel Foucault (2).
The ancient philosopher is not only a thinker, it is, notes the historian Paul Veyne, a kind of "lay saint" (3). He wears a beard, which sets him apart from ordinary people, and delivers his teachings to anyone who wants to hear it. The wise man had to adopt a model of life that could serve as an example to all. Such were (where aspired to be) the Socrates, Plato, Seneca, Epicurus, Pythagoras, Marcus Aurelius, and many others.
At the same time, thousands of kilometers away, a similar phenomenon is taking place in Asia. In the sixth century BC J. - C., at the moment when the Greek philosophy takes its rise, appears in Asia a new type of man: the sage. Confucius, Lao Tzu and Siddhartha (the Buddhist
a) are the three main figures. They are going to found the three main spiritualities of Asia: Confucianism, Taoism and Buddhism. The junzi or Confucian "good man" has features comparable to the Stoic sage. As the Taoist life model is close to the lifestyle of Epicurus. The sage is led by his inner consciousness rather than his passions or social conventions.
The simultaneous appearance of these masters of wisdom in the West and in the East towards the fifth century BC AD is a historical puzzle that is not resolved. Karl Jasper has called this new period of human history "axial epoch" (4).
There are common traits in these characters and their wisdom: the affirmation of an internal ethic, linked to a discipline of life, a spiritual quest (which goes beyond community rites and beliefs). To forge a kind of "inner citadel" according to the beautiful formula of P. Hadot (5). Morality: the art of living is cultivated. Like tomatoes.
3. Active life or contemplative life? (do not choose)
In Condition of the Modern Man (1961), Hannah Arendt distinguishes two kinds of life: the vita activa and the vita contemplativa. These are two orientations of existence. The contemplative life is a quest for happiness based on renouncing the vanities of wealth or the race for success. For the vita contemplativa, the true meaning of existence is found in what is today called "letting go": taking advantage of the present moment. This also implies a certain renunciation. Buddhism with its four noble truths offers the most advanced form: life is suffering, suffering is born of desire; let us suppress desire, we will stop suffering. In short, we must give up living so as not to spoil it ...
The active life (vita activa) is a model of existence diametrically opposed that is based on the affirmation of desire and action. According to this model of life, the goal of existence is not passive contemplation: to live is to act and to fulfill oneself. A vital force is in us that demands to express itself. It drives us to act, to realize and to achieve things. From this point of view, every action, every human endeavor supposes both suffering and pleasure, one not going without the other. The art of living is therefore a combat manual. Friedrich Nietzsche best represents this philosophy of combative and quasi-warlike existence.
4. Evil is in good (and vice versa)
Vita contemplativa or vita activa? Philosophy of rest or action? Looking more closely, many of the wisdoms are halfway between the two. The Buddha, after having abandoned the palace life, had sought salvation in the most severe asceticism advocated by the mystics: it implied the rejection of all pleasure and the total abandonment of oneself. Finally, he opted for the "middle way". Similarly, Aristotle in his Nicomachean Ethics advocates a middle way in the use of passions: moderate passion and thoughtful action. Stoicism and Epicureanism also advocated a middle way, renouncing the vain ambitions without giving up the active life.
Active life and life at rest, action and contemplation, it is basically what rhythm our lives: the activity of the day succeeds the night of rest, each week ends with a weekend, work and leisure s 'linked. You have to be a fundamentalist philosopher and obsessed with definitive solutions to believe that you have to choose between the two.
Active life at full speed, race for success, cult of performance? That's enough ! Supermen (and superwomen especially) are tired today. The frames are exhausted. The others too (6). The cult of performance and excellence is no longer recipe: it leads to burnout, stress, and the "Sunday night blues" (7).
These philosophies of the art of living, based on letting go, the present moment, are successful because they resonate with a strong aspiration of our time. Faced with a stressful lifestyle (graduation race, pace of work, anxiety-provoking news, overconsumption of images and information), we want to be able to "win". The garden of Epicurus today takes the form of a myth: that of the B & B or rural lodging, where nature combines (not too wild: local terroir), good meals (gourmands not gargantuan), good wines (philosophy rhymes today with oenology) and real friends (all the warmer that we do not see too often).
Conversely, holidays can not last forever. The total renunciation of his great projects, the withdrawal of social life, the refusal to exist to take no risk? No way ! The contemplative life has its own limits: contemplative monks sinking into depression, which we have
used to be acedia. Many pensioners today flock to associations, travel and take care of a thousand activities, filling themselves with ministerial diaries. Because they understood that long-term inactivity is deadly boring, destructive and without any charm. The true flavor of the rest is appreciated only after a period of intense activity.
That is why the ancient manuals of the art of living and the contemporary manuals of personal change all oscillate between the call to let go (the worship of the present moment) and the call to surpass oneself (the government of oneself). .
5. The art of doing nothing
In its zen version, the art of living comes down to the tea ceremony. According to his great teacher Sen no Rikyû (1522-1591), it consists in "boiling water, preparing tea and drinking it". That's all ? Yes. This means 1) that you have to focus on these simple actions - this is the best way to empty yourself, and 2) that to be effective, you have to do only one thing at a time.
Among the mental techniques of ancient, western and oriental wisdoms, or contemporary methods of art of living, letting go is the most universal. It comes in many forms, all of which are to evacuate the ideas that agitate us: anxieties, ruminations, projects, memories, speculations ... anxiety and unnecessary to focus on the present moment. "We must cut off his two things: the fear of the future, the memory of old evils. These do not concern me any more and the future does not concern me yet ", already wrote Seneca in his Letters to Lucilius.
Forgetting the past and its remorse, fleeing the future and its anxieties to focus on the present moment: this is the main recipe for well-being. Added to this are all relaxation techniques, letting go exercises and other antistress balms of the mind.
But the carpe diem can be understood in another way, less "contemplative". "Pick the day" may also want to recommend not to waste time, not to postpone everything. Every day is a chance not to let slip. The whole life is made only of a succession of days which offer each one a field of possible ... In short, do not procrastinate too much by putting everything in the aftermath.
Live the present moment, therefore. All this is fine, but does it work if I have my hand stuck in the door? It does not help me anymore if I have to prepare my exams, plan a departure or plan an evening meal. To live one's life as human means to project oneself into the future and to anticipate by focusing on the shape of the cup ... The art of well-being is an art of rest. But we must also think of the other facet of human existence: action.
6. Know yourself (while remaining indulgent)
The Socratic principle "Know Thyself", inscribed on the pediment of Delphi's Temple of Apollo, is still found today in most psychotherapies, from psychoanalysis to cognitive-behavioral therapies (CBT). Whether called introspection, autoanalysis or reflexivity, this self-reflection aims to uncover implicit representations, routine reactions, motivations and emotions, and recurring patterns of thought.
Buddhists and Greek thinkers had already made this fundamental discovery: subjectivity. My fears, my anger, my joys, my hopes feed on fantasy representations. We must learn to distinguish objects and their representations, real situations and how I perceive them. The sages of antiquity were "constructivist" before the hour
7. Become what you are (except for serial killers)
"Become what you are": the formula quoted many times by Nietzsche (who holds it from Pindar, a Greek poet of the 5th century BC) is enigmatic: how can one become what one is already? In fact, the idea is that we all have particular resources and predispositions that need to be revealed. But how to know?
The answer lies in the Stoic philosopher Epictetus. One of these disciples asked him, "How can each of us know what suits his abilities? Epictetus then answers, "How does the bull, when the lion approaches, know the courage and strength that is in him? The answer is that it is in the test that the person reveals himself. So you do not have to look deep inside yourself to find what you have to do. It is in practice that strengths and weaknesses are revealed.
That's not all. If we all have gifts (forgiveness, predispositions and tastes) for certain activities, we must also cultivate them. Epictetus continues: "One does not suddenly become a bull or an elite man, one needs exercise, preparation. And do not go blind in companies that are not
our reach "(Interviews, Book I).
André Gide said it in his own way: "We must follow its slope, but going up. "
8. Do not rely on your will alone
The philosophical art of living and the techniques of personal change are based on the principle of an inner transformation. One must change one's thoughts in order to modify one's behavior. This mental conversion is the philosophical act par excellence. It is based on self-knowledge preparatory to self-control.
But the will is fragile and relying on it for change is notoriously insufficient. All those who make resolutions at the beginning of the year know it well. The will always ends up facing other solicitations, immediate desires, distractions, routines and a thousand other assaults of reality.
Hence this essential lesson: to change, one must also transform one's environment. By acting on his environment, one acts in return on oneself. This is what some teens spontaneously do when they know that they will not be able to resist certain temptations (video games, friends, television) and ask to enter boarding school. Such is the cunning of Ulysses, who, knowing that he will not resist the siren song, asks to be attached to the mast.
Personal change involves changing the living environment. We all have experience: just go out of his usual framework for our ideas change. Travel, nothing like to change your mind. Social support - friends, meetings, clubs, associations, institutions - also plays a major role in our behavior: good or bad, it helps us to get out of a situation or to plunge back into it. Experts in personal change tend to emphasize the role of all external media in self-transformation.
The great religions have not been mistaken. Seeking to encourage their flock to behave as good disciples, they have developed a whole arsenal of personal control techniques: daily rituals, souvenir images, objects (rosaries or prayer wheels), community organization, simple slogans, reference models etc. All forming a kind of existential kit designed to encourage a model of life of good believers.
9. What depends on me ...
Epictetus in a famous text invites to separate "what depends on me" (and what I can change) and "what does not depend on me" (and which I must accept). No need to worry about things that I do not have a hold on: you have to learn to accept them and even to welcome them serenely.
The lesson of Epictetus is also that there is always room for maneuver to loosen the embrace (he himself was born slave and got his postage). The art of living, understood as a capacity for self-control and control of one's destiny, therefore has very deep anthropological, historical and psychological roots: faced with the trials of life, we have developed mental techniques of survival. Some help to cope with the suffering and frustration, others to arm themselves psychologically to face the challenges.
In this sense, the art of living and personal development are not inventions of recent modernity. They were present in ancient Greece, ancient China or India, and most other civilizations.
But these techniques are undoubtedly stimulated in our societies described as "reflexive" by sociologists. Whether it's studies, work or a couple's life, everyone is invited to make choices and not to submit to imposed directives. The management of his life is based on personal mobilization. Hence the need to discipline his existence. What the self-taught student feels, the employee who is relatively free to manage his schedule and his work methods (as long as he achieves his objectives), the unemployed person who seeks to reintegrate, the alcoholic or the smoker who wants to free himself from his addiction, etc.
The society of consumption and communication submits us all to incessant stimulations to consume, to inform themselves, to distract themselves. And the individual, caught in the meshes of his own desire, feels the need to free himself from this hold and to better control his existence. Hence a certain adequacy between the messages of voluntary simplicity that have the wind in their sails, and the ancient wisdoms that invited him to moderate his desires and resist the vain passions.
"What depends on me", is also to get rid of these multiple stimulations, distractions, solicitations or injunctions that pull me in all directions and prevent me from following the goals that I set myself. If I have fixed on it ...
10. Do not wait until it's too late
"The time to learn how to live, it is already too late" (Aragon). This is the paradox of the art of living: it would take so much time to learn to live that we would succeed just when the forces abandon us. Another depressing idea is to learn to live with chess. "What does not kill us makes us stronger" (Nietzsche). Foolishness ! Certainly by banging on the fingers, the apprentice learns to better hold his hammer. Similarly, we think to save more often his data after crashing once or twice his hard drive. But most big failures do not make them stronger: they traumatize, weaken and weaken us (8).
It is a more positive way of looking at things. Boethius assigned to wisdom a goal of "consolation," Epictetus saw it as a "remedy" for suffering. But what is the expectation of a cure? Not that it gives us health and eternal youth, but that it heals us from harm or at least alleviates pain. But it goes without saying that lessons in philosophy can not offer absolute happiness or guarantee the success of our companies. We also know that remedies must be taken with discernment: "Everything is poison, nothing is poison, everything is a question of measurement," said Hippocrates. Each remedy finally has its undesirable side effects. This is true also for life lessons.
Philosophy can also be conceived as a fighting art. The art of hunting teaches us to know the game, to hunt, to set traps, to shoot. But he never guarantees that the hunt will be good. The art of drawing teaches us to make landscapes or portraits, but gives neither the talent nor the desire to draw. The art of boxing learns to kick, to dodge, to cash. He prepares for battle but can not always promise victory. The same goes for the art of living. It helps to face the trials of life but can not guarantee the outcome.
Except for the last, if we admit with Montaigne that "to philosophize is to learn how to die".
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